Friday Top Ten...plus a NEW FEATURE! THE WEEKEND QUESTION!

Friday has once again arrived. The refreshing water poured on the lips of a lonely desert wanderer. It has been quite a week for news. Hard to scale back to only ten things but thankfully all my friends on Twitter have helped me out tremendously. So without any further fanfare or needlessly flowery figurative language, here is what caught my attention this week as it flew in on the Twitter wire like the first red chested Robin of spring...(Yeah I know...I promised to knock it off...)

10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WORLD WIDE WEB! The proposal for the idea that lead to the fastest way to share pornography or personally attack complete strangers is twenty years old this week. Kudos says I.

9. I am not Jewish, nor do I have friends or family currently living in Israel. But if I did, THIS would make me very, very nervous. I am all for the idea of trying to coexist peacefully. I can applaud the president's desire to open meaningful communication with the leaders of Iran. After so much war and so many Americans killed or wounded (more on that later in the list) peace would be a blessing. But I don't see how you can reasonably expect to seek peace with a "leader" who has openly called Israel a "cancerous tumor". I give President Obama credit for reaching out, 'extending the olive branch' to use the ridiculously overused expression. However I will be watching closely to see exactly what "reaching out" comes to mean.

8. Cole Hamels gave us all a scare this week. The words sore and elbow being used in conjunction about your star pitcher is never a good thing. Phillies fan's collective held breath was let out with a relieved flourish when MRI scans showed no structural damage. I remain nervous. The injury bug historically has shown great hunger for biting World Series Champions with massive chomposity the year following their big win. Perhaps I should Fed-Ex Cole some Raid.

7. In the land of all things 24, Jack Bauer made his best kill of the entire series Monday night. Killing a dude by front loader and screwdriver is a crazy Macgyver-like ninja attack. Jack is still on the run...

6. Could it be true?? A new Muppet movie is in the works?? Yes, and apparently the script is finished. Check out a review here (careful...some spoilers do reside therein). I love the Muppets and agree that they have not been the same since Henson's passing. Hopefully this will deliver.

5. I know President Obama can't bowl. I have seen the video on You Tube. We all know that. But his comment on the Tonight Show was way over the line. Someone pointed out to me earlier that people in this country have skin that is way too thin and that the ability to laugh at ourselves can help us get through tough situations. And I absolutely agree with both points. But if I were a participant or a parent of a participant of the Special Olympics, I would have been justifiably offended by the off hand remark, made for the sake of generating laughter. You don't take a group of people who have most likely been dealing with mockery and put downs their entire lives and exploit them to crack a joke with Jay Leno.

Do I believe that was President Obama's intention at the time? Absolutely not. But it can, and has been, perceived to be hurtful and offensive. I like the fact that he called the chairman of the Special Olympics to apologize. You have to admire a man who can admit when he makes a mistake. But I really hope that he takes it a step further and makes a public apology to these people.

4. March Madness is in full swing. I have cut down the number of brackets I normally complete. I am only competing in six this year instead of my normal ten or more. So far I am in pretty good shape. Memphis and Villanova both almost gave me a heart attack but didn't let me down. I am not doing too terribly horrible...yet...I am confident that will change. I fully expect to be completely out of all six by next week's Friday Top Ten.

3. I saw Watchmen this week. Loved it for the most part. It is interesting that my most visited and commented upon post to date is one about a digitalized, visible, blue member (Dr. Manhattan's Phallus). Go figure. Someone sent me a private message thanking me for giving them shudders and nightmares whenever they see the Smurfs now. I would just like to say you are most welcome. I am here to help!

2. AIG, AIG, AIG. DO I really need to say more? I am anxious to see who they send after these millionaires to get the 90% taxes. I hear Bobba Fett is looking for work these days...

1. This story really surprised me. When my mother first told me over Charcoal Pit Burgers and Fries (mmmmmmmmmmmmmm) about Obama's desire to force veterans with war or service related injuries to use their own insurance to pay for treatment, I am sorry to say I dismissed her and pompously informed her she must have heard something wrong. Imagine my surprise when I got home to discover that no, she was not wrong about the story. (PUBLIC APOLOGY...sorry mom...you were right...should I ever dismiss you so again, may my eye lids be slowly pulled off by a porcupine with salty claws)

I do not know what President Obama plans to achieve by flipping the proverbial bird to the military and their families. Can someone please explain it to me?


That's the list for this week. As always I encourage you to comment on any part of my list you wish to. We have had some lively discussions here this week...would love to keep it going. Give me your thoughts...



I am also starting another feature today. Every Friday I am going to post a weekend question. Something deeply spiritual or philosophical for my six devoted readers to ponder. When you have reached an answer please post it in the comments section below. I will eagerly await your replies and on Sunday night declare a winner for the most thoughtful, insightful, life changing answer. Prizes will be awarded!!

So let's get this feature started right...

**WARNING** If bathroom humor or discussions of anything of a scatological nature offends you it would be best to stop reading here and direct your browser elsewhere. The Weekend Question will not ALWAYS be of this nature (really...I promise it won't) but this first incarnation is well within the vicinity of bad taste. Reader be warned!


So, I was sitting in my bathroom this morning dropping off the morning mail.

(See...told ya)

I was doing this in the upstairs bathroom. The upstairs bathroom is in the original part of our house, built circa 1880, so it is rather small. Closet-like is too harsh a description...maybe walk in closet-like. It is not my favorite commode to use. The lavatory in the addition of our house is much more free and open. If our upstairs bathroom is a Miata, the bathroom in the addition is a Tour Bus. It is a room I could really spend some quality time in, as I often do, reading, thinking, blogging...

Not currently.

Really.

I am not blogging these words sitting in my bathroom...do you suppose it would bother you if I was?

Anyway...I was sitting on the porcelain throne when a thought bloomed. Eased into my mind if you will. A question. A question that I now put to those of you who have hung in there with me so far. The question is this...

IF YOU WERE PRESENTED WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TO EVACUATE YOUR BOWELS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD YOU DO IT?

This question occurred to me and I have spent a great deal of time thinking carefully about it before I came up with my answer.

If you could go anywhere...where would you go?

NOTE TO CLARIFY...I am not talking about doing it in inappropriate places as my wife thought when I first posed the question to her. (She really knows me well) I am not suggesting something crazy like dropping the kids off on Thomas Jefferson's head at Mount Rushmore. I am talking about a real, functional lavatory. If you could use any one in the whole world, no rules, no restrictions, to take care of your business...where would you do it?

I have my answer...and will share it on Sunday night when I announce the contest winner...if, that is, anyone has actually stayed with me this far and wants to participate in my lunacy.

Only time will tell...