Crusade Challenge #1 - The Duck Defines Me

My entry for the first crusader challenge over at Rach Writes is finished. I had to introduce myself in 300 words or less within the following parameters. I had to tell one secret, one lie, one personal quirk, one annoying habit, one of my best character traits, and one of my most favorite things in the whole world. I also had to work in the inclusion of four words; bloviate, fuliguline, rabbit, and blade. It was a lot of fun to write. If you can find the lie, drop it in the comments section.

The Duck Defines Me

The first thing I became aware of was the sound of the waves as they fell upon the shore. Then the smell of salt on the breeze. I lifted my head, cracking open one gummy lidded eye, and winced as a blade of bright sunshine shut it tight. I opened the other eye and sat up.

A duck sat at my feet, which were mysteriously bare.

“Rough night,” it said. Not a question, a statement.

I blinked. “I…I don’t remember.”

The duck ruffled its feathers as it hopped over my leg. “What’s your name?”

Again, I blinked.

“I don’t remember that either,” I replied.

The duck snorted. It adjusted its feathers again and fixed me with a disconcerting fuliguline stare.

“Don’t remember huh? Well, let me have a go. From that dog-eared Neil Gaiman paperback in your pocket, I can tell you are the kind of guy who always wears cargo shorts just so you can have a book with you at all times. You won’t watch the show GLEE because you are afraid that if you do…you might like it too much. Your tendency to engage in bloviation when discussing things you care about is an annoyance to some. You named your daughter’s fat pet rabbit Mr. Creosote as an homage to Monty Python. You seem to be a pretty even-tempered guy, who always tries to see both sides of an issue. The only thing you love more than ample time to read or write is having time to spend with your wife and daughter. I’d say that about does it.”

“But…how did I get here?” I asked.

The duck shrugged its wings and turned back to the ocean.

“Beats me. Ask the spotted hippopotamus behind you.”