Grooming Future Scribblers or Kids, Writing Doesn't HAVE to Suck!

I have been a devoted fan of writing since my heady days in the third and fourth grades when a few friends and I took pencil to paper to create our own (illustrated!) series of Choose Your Own Adventure stories and Doctor Who fan fiction (chicks dug us...HARD). It is an activity I have continued to enjoy (and even make an infinitesimal amount of money at) ever since.

Because of this long lasting affection for the written word, I take particular joy in the teaching of writing to my class of fifth graders. They come to me in late August, almost always completely united in their collective hatred of the craft I myself enjoy so much. If given a choice between writing a page long story or having a few cavities filled, many of them would gladly pull up the dentist chair, attach the little blue drool-bib themselves, and open wide.

With the fervent desire of the rabidly fundamentalist, I see it as my duty to change as many of these minds as I can over the course of the school year. To get my students to see writing not as some brutal holdover from the medieval torture chamber days, but as a worthwhile, artistic (they don't call it language ARTS for no reason), and dare I even suggest it, FUN, way to express themselves.

Crusade Challenge #1 - The Duck Defines Me

My entry for the first crusader challenge over at Rach Writes is finished. I had to introduce myself in 300 words or less within the following parameters. I had to tell one secret, one lie, one personal quirk, one annoying habit, one of my best character traits, and one of my most favorite things in the whole world. I also had to work in the inclusion of four words; bloviate, fuliguline, rabbit, and blade. It was a lot of fun to write. If you can find the lie, drop it in the comments section.

The Duck Defines Me

The first thing I became aware of was the sound of the waves as they fell upon the shore. Then the smell of salt on the breeze. I lifted my head, cracking open one gummy lidded eye, and winced as a blade of bright sunshine shut it tight. I opened the other eye and sat up.

Writing - It's a Love/Hate Thing.

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."       - Vladimir Nabokov

"Writing is easy. All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." - Gene Fowler

The act of writing is a strange beast. A creature to love and to loathe, quite often at the exact same time.

It can be an act whose very execution causes the soul to feel at one with the universe. The writer can almost feel the wind blowing full-on into the sails of the story, mother nature herself dotting the i's and crossing the t's. The act of writing becomes a journey to a mythical land, where mysteries abound and the unexpected can happen at any time. A tantalizing feeling of creative freedom unlike any other.

It can also be a real soul-sucking, spirit-crushing, pain in the ass.

The New Years Resolution or Why I Happily Lie to Myself.

"To lose those ten pounds...or fifteen...or twenty...or fifty."

"To read more than just the spare magazines in my doctor's office."

"To be a better person by spending time with my annoying ____________ (fill in family members name)."

"To give more to charity and less to the guys at Saturday night poker."

"To stop stalking housewives shopping at the local mall in their pajama jeans."

"To learn a foreign language so I can understand the Independent Film Channel."

"To finally get that weird boil that keeps changing colors on my ass looked at."

"To read my Bible, Koran, Talmud, Satanic Scriptures, copy of The Wiccan Rede, Book of Mormon, or Whatever Athiests Choose to Read, from cover to cover (whichever applies)."

There Be Zombies Herein...Beware!

Greetings from the beach!

I have recently joined an AWESOME community of writers over at Chuck Palahniuk.net.

Soon after joining, I took a self assignment. This self assignment entailed being given ONE WORD and then writing a quick 1,000 word story based on said word. My given word was REGISTRATION. I was watching the movie Zombieland as I thought it over and that lead me to the theme of my story.

**EDIT** - I have since reworked it a few times and I am now clearly over the 1,000 word limit. I had intended to use this just as a short assignment but now I think it is going to go further. How much further? Time will tell...

If you are so inclined I would LOVE any honest feedback you could give me.

A word of caution...the entry IS about zombies and it is pretty gross. If such things offend, I would recommend you pass. But if zombies are right down your alley then please read, then let me know in the comments section what you think. Thanks, I appreciate it.

REGISTRATION

1

Dragging my ass into work every day for a job I dread is difficult. I know there are a lot of people who dislike the way they make a living for one reason or another. It might be a salary, or lack thereof, issue. Maybe they have co-workers they can't stand or a boss that drives them crazy. Perhaps they have a horrible commute through dense traffic or their chosen career may have turned out to be too much/not enough work for them to handle. These are all valid reasons to wake up in the morning and want to take a blow torch to the alarm clock. I know that feeling, more than most I think. I know it because everyday my job puts me into very uncomfortable proximity with the walking undead and all the delightful smells and bodily fluids that accompany them. I have been working for the U.S. Department of Zombie Affairs since its inception four years ago and let me tell you, it is no picnic. But considering how much the world has changed in the last five years things could be worse...much worse.